This is the time of year that the NBA kicks off its playoffs. Usually they have a crazy song that they play over and over again, until you finally jab a nail into your hear drum. Starting a few years back, they choose a celebrity to do some sort of montage/inspirational speech right before they start. I never felt so inspired until I heard Jeremy Piven break down the playoffs. This was such a good thing that the MLB ripped it right off and had Dane Cook do a little ditty. Needless to say it was not so inspirational. Well I was crossing my fingers this year and hoped that they would choose a good song for once and get Piven back to break it down for us once more.
Ok, so this just happened this week, but the owners agreed to rip the Sonics right from Seattle, and drop them off in Oklahoma City. OK City? What gives? I mean, I know the Hornets had a good run there while New Orleans was getting de-Katrina-ed, but Okalahoma, really? What a strange place for a team that’s all I’m saying. That fits right in there with hockey in Nashville, Florida, Phoenix and only a couple Canadian teams. But I act like I’m surprised or something. I mean its all about the money I know, but still. Do we not have any conscience any more? I also can see a complete Cleveland-Browns-esque move come here too. The team “leaves” town, but the colors, team name and shitty records are still a “part of the city.” Which leads me to ponder what colors is OK City going to choose? And what will their team name be?
Pat Riley took a leave from his team to go scout the college ranks. Is this not the most ridiculous story of the season? No, stop! Don’t answer that! But still; the last thing Rile’s did that involved college was setting up his trust fund for his GRANDCHILDREN! They have Dewayne Wade, this much we know. We also know they have high probability to have the top pick in the draft. We also know that they have six players locked up for next year, and that is it. The Heat better start taking naked pictures of Shawn Marion in hopes of getting him to agree to that player option, or they had better start freezing some envelopes so David Stern knows which one to grab. Let’s be honest though. The draft will not save the Heat even if (and that is a huge, huge IF) Marion sticks around. Michael Beasley, Chris Douglas-Roberts, Derrick Rose, Kevin Love and anyone else all rolled up into one wouldn’t save the Heat. If only they had a big center to fill that void in the middle….
Ok, now some predictions. The match ups look quite interesting all around. I like the Lakers to beat Denver. I really do not think Iverson and Carmello last after this season. I love AI but he seems to be destined on the Charles Barkley All-Stars: Great players to never win a ring. I cannot foresee any reason to keep AI around if they cannot do it this year, and I really don’t see that going on. Taking the Celtics over the Hawks is the easiest pick ever. That series should be over in 3 games, with the Hawks not even showing up to the Arena for Game 4. Now taking the Hornets over the Mavs could be a little more “daring.” The Mavs still have Dirk and Company, but I do not think it will matter. Jason Kidd will not serve to be the fix Mark Cuban needed/wanted. If only the Mavs had a very energetic version of Jason Kidd….Meanwhile, the Suns are lead by Steve Nash and they will have their hands full with the Spurs in the 3-6 match up. Shaq surely is a big body, but I feel the Suns are slowed by his slow body. The Spurs are looking real old, but Manu is playing exceptionally well. The Spurs will stumble in Phoenix, but most likely take it home to capture the series. To me, Utah will roll over Houston, much like the Pistons will do the same to the 76ers. Orlando will make quick work of the Raptors too, being that the Raptors are still another player away from competing with the likes of Dwight Howard. The Cavs look somewhat scared of the Wizards and Agent Zero. Gilbert Arenas is a self-proclaimed “Assassin”, and will probably give Lebron some fits for stretches of minutes during the series. Lebron is too good, and too motivated to make Deshawn Stevenson and the Wiz slow him down. In round 2, the Utah will face the Lakers and this series will be an up and down battle royal. Boozer, Okur, and Deron will be too much for Kobe, Kobe and Pau, as Kobe may have to average 40-something (which he still may) to have any chance of survival. The Hornets will face the much more seasoned Spurs and shock the Spurs in the first round. However, this is where the fun ends for CP3 and the Spurs walk away in 6. The Celtics will face Lebron and this will be fun to watch. The playoffs move much slower than the regular season, and this will allow Ben Wallace to do Ben Wallace type things: Roam the paint, make shots difficult to take; Rebound; Rebound, and Rebound some more. Paul Pierce or Ray Allen won’t be able to stop Bron Bron from dropping 45 a game and the Cavs will face the Pistons. The Pistons will be lead by a very motivated Rasheed Wallace, as he does not want the young Dwight Howard to upstage his performance. This will allow the Stones to see the Cavs in a rematch of last year’s Eastern Conference Finals. Being a big time home town lover, it is hard for me to pick the Cavs to beat my Pistons. I seriously cannot see one more game of letting Lebron score 25 unanswered points. This will be the series that makes or breaks the “We didn’t draft Carmello because we had Tayshaun Prince” arguments. I still would have liked to see Chris Bosh in a Pistons’ uni anyway. The Cavs will fight through 7 games, but Detroit will take home another Eastern Conference title, and face the Utah Jazz in the Finals. Utah has too many weapons to let Tim Duncan beat them. They have some big guys who can play, and David Robinson isn’t walking through that door anytime soon to help out Timmy D. Utah will rely on the 2-3-2 format to try and steal home court advantage from the Pistons, and may even do so in game 1. The Pistons will have their backs to the wall, the entire country writing them off, and one hell of a chip on their shoulder. Sheed and company will come out guns blazing in games 2 and 3 to steal back home court advantage. Game 4 will go to the Jazz as will game 5. Pistons, again being written off, peal off back to back wins at home and the Palace will be bedlam. The NBA Champs will be the Detroit Pistons.
They will be lead by Rasheed Wallace and Jason Maxiell. The bench will serve the team well after getting heavy minutes in many games throughout the year and Flip Saunders finally gets his ring. If this is the course of events that take place, look for a huge idol-like statue of Joe Dumars.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Mission: Impossible
The hardest decision I have to make is whether to eat Captain Crunch or Honey Nut Cheerios. I am not in a position where many people care what i decide to do. There are, however, people who make decisions that effect hundreds, thousands, even millions of people each and every day. Those people walk a very thin line. If they make the right decision, people will praise them, but If they make the wrong decision, most people will call for their head, and there will be the few who will still drink the Kool-aid and follow them to the pits of Hell and back. In the city of Detroit, most things are judged on a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately?" outlook. You may recall this comedy bit from Eddie Murphy's Raw, done so back in the 1980's, but here in Detroit, it is no laughing matter.
Today, we have 2 major icons, who the entire city and most of the state watch their every move. The ridiculousness of these two individuals are so magnified, that both have become the butt of jokes by the likes of Jay Leno, David Letterman, and every half-wit comedian from New York to Honolulu. Those two people are Kwame Kilpatrick and Matt Millen, the Mayor of Detroit, and General Manager of the Lions respectively. These two individuals have faced more heat than slice of bologna sitting on your car in a hot summer afternoon; and both have done far more damage. Both began their epic legacy in 2001. Both walked into a semi-good situation. Both have gone on a long, twisting, illogical and inadvisable road; and now both jobs are being called for.
Let's take a quick look into what Matt Millen first walked into in 2001. When Wayne Fontes had a "sub-par" 5-11 season, the Lions chose to bring in Bobby Ross to right the ship. Ross had immediate success with a 9-7 season, but took a step back in 1998 to 5-11. The losing (and the abuse he had been taking for 10 years) had been enough for Barry Sanders to abruptly leave the team, just short of breaking Walter Payton's then all-time rushing record. That year, owner William Clay Ford was flirting with the idea of bringing in Matt Millen as a general manager, but Ross refused to give up any power to him, and threatened to quit if the talks did not stop. Ross won this battle, and endured one and a half more seasons, before stepping down. You may remember the press conference where Bobby Ross shouted out "I don't coach that way!" The end was near for sure. Gary Moeller, former head coach of the University of Michigan, took over for the remainder of the year and finished with a 4-3 record gained much respect of all the players for doing such an admirable job in such a situation. Moeller was fired as Matt Millen's first act as general manager for the Detroit Lions. For his next trick, he brought in good friend and former offensive coordinator of the San Fransisco 49ers Marty Mornhinweg. Marty was famous for setting the bar high. M&M, as they were called around time and also for the play on Detroit rapper Eminem (Marshal Mathers), ditched the team at training camp and road off on their motorcycles, trying to make a statement to the team. Marty lasted as long as he had to. The real prize Millen was after was the head coach of the Niners, Michigan native, Steve Mariucci. After raising eyebrows around the league for not following the Minority Hiring Regulations, "Mooch" was brought in and asked to put lipstick on a pig. Mariucci did not fare any better than Marty, and in Gary Moeller fashion, Dick Juron took over as acting coach, until Millen pulled the rug underneath him at season's end. Now we here in Detroit are stuck with a tough-nosed linemen coach, Rod Marinelli, until the next best thing arrives. If the cake consist of all the coaching changes, the draft picks and off season pick ups that have been as laughable as his 31-81 record as acting general manager, then the icing on that cake is the contract extension he signed before the 2005 season.
The only saving grace among these miserable facts is that it is about a sports team. For the people of Detroit and its surrounding cities, the real nausea begins with the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick. To list all his downfalls would not only waste a bunch of time and bore a bunch of people, but it would also not do any justice to what the city goes through on a daily basis. Some of the hip-hop Mayor's lowlights would make the likes of John Gotti blush. Some of the scandals and cover-up's/conspiracy theories are that right out of a movie script: A party at the Moonogian Mansion that allegedly had hookers and dancers being boated in across from Windsor, Canada, underneath Customs' nose; A dead hooker who was gunned down by gangsters better known as Detroit Police; A whistleblower case; Missing money from a city's Civic Fund; The use of city payroll for the likes of cousins, and college buddies that do nothing for the City of Detroit; Using city money to fly his body-guards with him to conferences across the United States, where no one knew who he was; and finally the lying under oath about a sexual relationship with his chief of staff, Christine Beatty. In a very Millen-esque fashion, the city of Detroit re-elected this animal for another term.
Breathtaking!
Matt Millen and Kwame Kilpatrick are, indeed, in a heap of crap. Both men need to make a 180 degree turn. Yet, for both men, the time on their Cinderella clocks may read 11:59pm.
Today, we have 2 major icons, who the entire city and most of the state watch their every move. The ridiculousness of these two individuals are so magnified, that both have become the butt of jokes by the likes of Jay Leno, David Letterman, and every half-wit comedian from New York to Honolulu. Those two people are Kwame Kilpatrick and Matt Millen, the Mayor of Detroit, and General Manager of the Lions respectively. These two individuals have faced more heat than slice of bologna sitting on your car in a hot summer afternoon; and both have done far more damage. Both began their epic legacy in 2001. Both walked into a semi-good situation. Both have gone on a long, twisting, illogical and inadvisable road; and now both jobs are being called for.
Let's take a quick look into what Matt Millen first walked into in 2001. When Wayne Fontes had a "sub-par" 5-11 season, the Lions chose to bring in Bobby Ross to right the ship. Ross had immediate success with a 9-7 season, but took a step back in 1998 to 5-11. The losing (and the abuse he had been taking for 10 years) had been enough for Barry Sanders to abruptly leave the team, just short of breaking Walter Payton's then all-time rushing record. That year, owner William Clay Ford was flirting with the idea of bringing in Matt Millen as a general manager, but Ross refused to give up any power to him, and threatened to quit if the talks did not stop. Ross won this battle, and endured one and a half more seasons, before stepping down. You may remember the press conference where Bobby Ross shouted out "I don't coach that way!" The end was near for sure. Gary Moeller, former head coach of the University of Michigan, took over for the remainder of the year and finished with a 4-3 record gained much respect of all the players for doing such an admirable job in such a situation. Moeller was fired as Matt Millen's first act as general manager for the Detroit Lions. For his next trick, he brought in good friend and former offensive coordinator of the San Fransisco 49ers Marty Mornhinweg. Marty was famous for setting the bar high. M&M, as they were called around time and also for the play on Detroit rapper Eminem (Marshal Mathers), ditched the team at training camp and road off on their motorcycles, trying to make a statement to the team. Marty lasted as long as he had to. The real prize Millen was after was the head coach of the Niners, Michigan native, Steve Mariucci. After raising eyebrows around the league for not following the Minority Hiring Regulations, "Mooch" was brought in and asked to put lipstick on a pig. Mariucci did not fare any better than Marty, and in Gary Moeller fashion, Dick Juron took over as acting coach, until Millen pulled the rug underneath him at season's end. Now we here in Detroit are stuck with a tough-nosed linemen coach, Rod Marinelli, until the next best thing arrives. If the cake consist of all the coaching changes, the draft picks and off season pick ups that have been as laughable as his 31-81 record as acting general manager, then the icing on that cake is the contract extension he signed before the 2005 season.
The only saving grace among these miserable facts is that it is about a sports team. For the people of Detroit and its surrounding cities, the real nausea begins with the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick. To list all his downfalls would not only waste a bunch of time and bore a bunch of people, but it would also not do any justice to what the city goes through on a daily basis. Some of the hip-hop Mayor's lowlights would make the likes of John Gotti blush. Some of the scandals and cover-up's/conspiracy theories are that right out of a movie script: A party at the Moonogian Mansion that allegedly had hookers and dancers being boated in across from Windsor, Canada, underneath Customs' nose; A dead hooker who was gunned down by gangsters better known as Detroit Police; A whistleblower case; Missing money from a city's Civic Fund; The use of city payroll for the likes of cousins, and college buddies that do nothing for the City of Detroit; Using city money to fly his body-guards with him to conferences across the United States, where no one knew who he was; and finally the lying under oath about a sexual relationship with his chief of staff, Christine Beatty. In a very Millen-esque fashion, the city of Detroit re-elected this animal for another term.
Breathtaking!
Matt Millen and Kwame Kilpatrick are, indeed, in a heap of crap. Both men need to make a 180 degree turn. Yet, for both men, the time on their Cinderella clocks may read 11:59pm.
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