The C-Word

I need to start this off by saying that I LOVE THE NFL!!! Can’t say it enough! I played soccer growing up and was a bit too brittle/small for football. Sure, I played in middle school, but everyone played in middle school. I mean EVERYONE played. And if you didn’t, you had a broken leg or something. As a soccer player, I had to rationalize not playing somehow. So, us “dorks”, as the football players called us, would downgrade just about everything they did or said. “They are dumb jocks!”  “Must be nice to rest every 35 seconds.” And the like. We didn’t get too creative, because we played in a tougher division and had a better record. As it turns out, I ended up working for a couple of “dumb jock, football players”, and they weren’t that dumb: They quit playing football while they were ahead.

Football players pride themselves on being the toughest and strongest. They get high-five’d after dismembering other players, causing a turnover – which usually is preceded by a nasty collision – and other disastrous plays. Football players get huge notoriety from a multitude of people, mainly because, we, the average person, can’t do what they do.  We respect the hell out of them and enshrine them as gladiators of our time.

So why, all these years later, are they turning their backs on the game that they used to love, fed their families, and was their livelihood for a majority of their lives? One word; the C-word:  Concussions.  They are suing the league for not informing them of the dangers of football. No, that’s not a joke. The dangers of football!!! Did you ever think you would hear such a crazy thought in your life? Football consists of running fast, hitting hard, putting your hat on someone (referring to hitting someone with your helmet), and trying to stay up-right. Sure, there is some other verbiage in there on how to advance the ball and score points, but that’s the gist of it. Not much there. Soccer might be running and kicking. Baseball would be swinging, catching and throwing. Football is run fast, hit hard!

So why is anyone surprised by all these concussions? They have been paid for many years to HIT SOMEONE HARD! What were they supposed to say, “No, not that hard!” C’mon! These gladiators would never go half-assed. I was always told that is the way you get hurt, by not going as hard as your opponent.  If you didn’t think something would happen to your brain after years of playing football, then maybe your brain was fully functioning to begin with.  You wouldn’t slam your head into a hammer for 25 years and say “what happened?” The NFL is being raked over the coals for not informing their players of the mishaps of playing football. Shouldn’t that be common knowledge? Paying child support and wrapping it up to begin with should be common knowledge, but many players avoid that too. Who’s at fault, the NFL?  I think it’s foolish to blame the NFL for what should have been taught years ago. Where is the league issued “if it’s hot, don’t touch it” statement? 

We as a society have become giant puff-balls, and the world’s biggest pansies. Everyone must win, don’t keep score for little league baseball, tell me everything, hand me everything or else I will sue! It has gotten out of control and leading us down a trail, we as a society do not want to go down.

So be forewarned society, if you do not succeed in life, you will be a failure!

Brandon Inge Watch has Begun

T-minus 30 hours and counting. Get this guy off the team. Brandon Inge has completed a “need-it-now” spring training with a .180 Batting Average, which is exactly what his debut year’s batting average was. If that was ever a sign, eh? Let’s put this in perspective; if he had 100 chances to hit a baseball, Inge would succeed 18 times. If you had 100 chances to nail a sales call and only succeeded 18 times, chances are you’d be looking for work elsewhere. I think the thing that makes me the maddest, is everyone BUT Inge knows he’s struggling at the plate. Every comment he makes, you’d think he just hit a homerun. And another thing, STOP SWINGING FOR THE FENCES! Every swing…WOOSH…guy is trying to tear the cover off the ball. It’s more annoying than anything! “Earth to BI: You’re a career .235 average, 139 homerun hitter! Babe Ruth you are not!”

I am tired of people talking about Inge as a baseball player, yet have no BASEBALL FACTS to back up their illogical love for a sub-par player. To help further my point, I tracked him down on baseball-reference.com, and I searched Inge, and my results came back: “WHO?” Looking at his fielding stats, aren’t as atrocious as I’d like them to be. Since 2005 his error totals go as follows: 2005 – 23, 2006 (World Series year, where he was a defensive specialist) – 22, 2007 – 18, 2008 – 1 (ONE), 2009 – 20, 2010 – 9 and 2011 – 9. A few things stand out here: ONE ERROR in 2008. What’s the catch? He played in half the amount of games he normally would. In 2011, you might remember the Tigers trading for William Betemit, allowing Inge to only play in 99 games

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The story on guys like Danny Worth or Ramon Santiago, is that they wouldn't last in a full season; they wouldn't hold up. As it seems though, the less games Inge plays, the better his fielding stats are. I have the privilege of sitting close to 3^rd base for Tiger Home games. I have watch Inge with his “strong arm” completely over-throw Cabrera or throw in the dirt. I’m not saying Inge has to make EVERY throw over there, but how can you miss Cabrera? Miggy stands 6’4” and 240lb. You have to think with his arms, he can reach to 8 feet. And you’re going to over-throw this guy or throw it in the dirt. Miggy doesn’t get his due for how well he’s adapted to playing 1^st base. I didn’t say he was John Olerud, but the guy can play it WELL (see Inge fans, that’s how you correctly categorize a decent defensive player). I have seen Miggy save many poor attempts from Inge; enough to make my body ache.

The next defense is “Inge is a great guy!” Last I checked, and I scoured the internet for an answer, you don’t win championships with great guys, especially in this town. This is home of Hockeytown, the Grind Line, the Bad Boys, the 2004 Pistons, the “Black and Blue division”. We all know where we were when Darren McCarty rearranged Claude Lemiux’s face. We remember vividly, Isaiah Thomas leading his team off the floor without shaking the Bulls’ hands. We will start fights with you if you are even wearing a Bears jersey. We wear shirts that say “Welcome to Detroit, where the weak are killed and eaten!” ”I’m so tough, I vacation in Detroit!” “Give blood, fight Probie!” This city isn’t for the faint of heart. If you want a gold star, go back to kindergarten.

“Yeah, but he does a lot in the community!” So do prostitutes, but I don’t see you trumpeting their names up and down the streets. So please, Dave Dombrowski and Jim Leyland, it’s time to put Old Yeller out to the pastures. You’d be doing him, me and the rest of Detroit a favor. Remember, you may be a great guy, but if you suck at your job, you too will be let go…no matter how well you bring doughnuts to the office each day.

To Favre or not to Favre, that is the question.

Bret Favre is coming out of retirement? No way! He and the Green Bay Packers are playing a crazy game of chess right now, and each feel they have the other in Check Mate. Is this even a game? The Pack are telling Bret he has to come back and EARN his job from Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers whose career totals read as follows: 35-59, 329 yards, 1 INT, 1 TD, 9 sacks, in 7 total games. We all know the heroics Favre has brought to Green Bay, but I do not feel some people are aware of what he did last year. He was the only other player to receive an MVP vote and he was one vintage Bret Favre throw away from taking the team to the Superbowl. And they are going to make him compete for his job. I understand he walked away from that position in March, but when a guy like that decides to come back, don’t you just open your arms in welcome. After all, Green Bay did draft a QB in last year’s draft.

What if Favre does come back as a back up? If your Rodgers, you are looking over your shoulder every second of every game. If I was Favre, I’d just start warming up for no reason on the sideline just to mess Rodger’s head. Can you imagine the Boo-Birds coming after his first incompletion or even his first INT? That will not be fair to Rodgers and I think their best move is to trade Rodgers and move on with Favre and Brian Brohm.

What if Favre does somehow get released/traded? If he takes that team further than it went last year, how much egg is on the brass of Green Bay? God forbid Favre gets to the playoffs and knocks out the Pack. I’ve been hearing on the radio that people are playing this like Fantasy Football, meaning we are just plugging and playing like no big deal. Favre will have to learn a new system, but how much harder can it be? The guy has been around the league forever and if you put him around just one playmaker, I figure that’s all he’ll need.

Whatever may lie ahead in the upcoming months, it will be a rollercoaster that Favre is used to and the brass need to learn to ride.

No Betting Allowed

The best championship money can buy!

When the Boston Celtics traded for Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett last summer, most everyone expected them to win the NBA Championship. Had they fell short of this goal, I do believe that Doc Rivers would be looking for a commentary job sometime later this afternoon. Danny Ainge pulled the trigger on these two trades, basically jeopardizing the future of the C’s after next season. Questions will linger about whether Ray Allen’s ankles can survive another season, or Paul Piece’s knees; and who knows if Doc Rivers can repeat the same steps taken this year. His past certainly tells a different story.

I may sound bitter, being a Detroit fan, but I hate seeing teams go out and BUY wins. To me, it takes away the integrity of the game. I understand it is all part of the game, but I just feel it is a bit much. Trading away draft picks and lame players to get some big pieces for an “all-or-nothing” push, seems to go outside of the lines to me. If someone tried performing this trade in any fantasy league, the league would have vetoed it 10-2, with the 2 trying to persuade all the others the upside to both teams and the “Celtics” explaining that he didn’t even need Garnett. I’ve seen it a thousand times.

Now that it’s over, the comparisons will begin. “Where does this team rank?” I keep hearing how great of defense that was being played and to me I just didn’t see it. They allowed one 81 point game, but even in the blow out, the Lakers still scored 91. Kobe again had no help. I thought Phil Jackson had released Pau Gasol at one point, and even Lamar Odom was characteristically out played. Many of the talking heads are saying BEST DEFENSE EVER! SERIOUSLY? Again, home-town-homer right now, but the Detroit Pistons had better defensive teams, especially the Bad Boys; the Bulls learned the way of the Bad Boys and beat the Pistons with their own medicine in the early 90’s; even the Celtics in the 80’s played tougher defense, in my opinion. Look at the players they went against: Magic, Jordan, Bird, Isaiah, Malone/Stockton, Ewing, (H)Akeem, and David Robinson versus Chauncey Billups, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Chris Bosh, Mike Bibby and Dwight Howard. To me, it doesn’t quite add up.

If this team was so good, why did they take each series to at least 6 games? The Atlanta Hawks and Cleveland Cavs took them to game 7’s. The Hawks and Cavs? Did I read that correctly? The Celtics did not win a road game until game 3 in Detroit, meaning that they were 0-6 on the road at that point. Home court wasn’t even that sacred; the Pistons ripped game 2 from them. A good defensive team does not let teams like the Hawks and the depleted Cavs hang around for game 7. They don’t let a Detroit team pretend they are worth something on their home court. Again, all the talking heads are blabbing about repeating. The parade hasn’t even started yet, and they want next season’s winning prediction already? Look at espn.com, all the experts but one, picked the Lakers to win. And now they are jumping on the C’s bandwagon and picking them to win next year. Easy Jon Barry! The Celtics just played 108 games, and the 30-something big 3 just averaged 36 minutes in 101 games. That is a lot of time to be playing and not much time resting. Those old legs will certainly need some time to rest.

The NBA is a game of copy cats; Hack-a-Shaq/Ben, tough-nosed defense, run-and-gun offense. So before you go and give the C’s the 2009 ring, wait and see who tries to buy their way to a ring next year.

Underachiever

A person or thing that performs below expectations. Also see Detroit Pistons.
Ok, so I made that last part up. But is it really that far off?

A few days after their season ended, Joe Dumars held a press conference that ended a miserable tenure of what was a semi-tolerable coaching stint of Flip Saunders: Three straight seasons, three early exits. When you precede a coach who won a title in 2004, then took his team to Game 7 in the Finals the next year, you are expected to take the team back to that level, or even further.

I was never really sold on Flip to begin with. Flip had the Big Ticket (Kevin Garnett) for this entire coaching career, and mainly mediocre supporting staff to round off the rest of the rosters. The Timberwolves were never throwing money around to get anyone to really support Garnett, but they still made it to the playoffs all but the final year of Saunders’ existence. In each of those years but one, the Wolves never made it past the first round. Underachiever. The second to last year, Flip guided the team to the Conference finals only to be ousted by the Lakers (who were then deconstructed by the Detroit Pistons). Underachiever. The final year of his Minnesota stint, the players (especially KG’s not-so-polite trade requests all year long) gave up on Flip, and lead to Genearl Manager Kevin McHale leading the team the rest of the way. The players quitting, and the team underachieving sure sounds familiar!

Joe Dumars let Flip go and it was his only option. The team failed (miserably, I might add) and something needed to change. If you do not change, and stay content with being alright, than you will become the Buffalo Bills. Some people will say that the Bills were a good team; and I will agree. BUT good will only get you so far, and for the Bills’ case, it took them to 4 straight Superbowl losses. Some teams and most players will never win the Big Game in their sport. However, the Pistons have been molded to win championships. That is plural, championshipS, and anything less is unacceptable.

This will be a tell-tale of Joe Dumars. He is definitely rolling the dice with Michael Curry, especially with the likes of Avery Johnson still being available. When Curry took the court, you would not mistake him for Michael Jordan by any means. He barely played 20 minutes a game, averaged under 5 points, and not even 2 rebounds. However, he had leadership qualities that both the NBA and his teams noted. He served as head of the players association, VP of player development in the NBDL and VP of NBA basketball operations, and now head coach of the Detroit Pistons. Those are not titles you just walk into. You have to work for it and grind out a lot of long days to get to those ranks.

This could also be the end of the line for Dumars. If Curry fails, then what is Mr. Davidson to think of Joe D. then? If you look at Dumars’ drafts, they haven’t been early 90’s, Dallas Cowboy-esque. For every Tayshawn Prince, there has been a Darko Milicic; and every Jason Maxiell there has been a Rodney White. So it is not like Dumars is drafting an army of great players; he is shooting a mere 50%. Not a bad shooting percentage (Joe Dumars shot a career average of .460), but if his coaches won at that rate, they would definitely be looking for other jobs. For the record, Rick Carlisle had a .610 winning percentage; Larry Brown was .659; and Flip Saunders .715. These are very good numbers; considering Larry Brown won a championship, and came very close the following year. So, I have to ask: What is stopping Bill Davidson from pulling the plug on Joe D?

Sympathy for Seattle

This is the time of year that the NBA kicks off its playoffs. Usually they have a crazy song that they play over and over again, until you finally jab a nail into your hear drum. Starting a few years back, they choose a celebrity to do some sort of montage/inspirational speech right before they start. I never felt so inspired until I heard Jeremy Piven break down the playoffs. This was such a good thing that the MLB ripped it right off and had Dane Cook do a little ditty. Needless to say it was not so inspirational. Well I was crossing my fingers this year and hoped that they would choose a good song for once and get Piven back to break it down for us once more.

Ok, so this just happened this week, but the owners agreed to rip the Sonics right from Seattle, and drop them off in Oklahoma City. OK City? What gives? I mean, I know the Hornets had a good run there while New Orleans was getting de-Katrina-ed, but Okalahoma, really? What a strange place for a team that’s all I’m saying. That fits right in there with hockey in Nashville, Florida, Phoenix and only a couple Canadian teams. But I act like I’m surprised or something. I mean its all about the money I know, but still. Do we not have any conscience any more? I also can see a complete Cleveland-Browns-esque move come here too. The team “leaves” town, but the colors, team name and shitty records are still a “part of the city.” Which leads me to ponder what colors is OK City going to choose? And what will their team name be?

Pat Riley took a leave from his team to go scout the college ranks. Is this not the most ridiculous story of the season? No, stop! Don’t answer that! But still; the last thing Rile’s did that involved college was setting up his trust fund for his GRANDCHILDREN! They have Dewayne Wade, this much we know. We also know they have high probability to have the top pick in the draft. We also know that they have six players locked up for next year, and that is it. The Heat better start taking naked pictures of Shawn Marion in hopes of getting him to agree to that player option, or they had better start freezing some envelopes so David Stern knows which one to grab. Let’s be honest though. The draft will not save the Heat even if (and that is a huge, huge IF) Marion sticks around. Michael Beasley, Chris Douglas-Roberts, Derrick Rose, Kevin Love and anyone else all rolled up into one wouldn’t save the Heat. If only they had a big center to fill that void in the middle….

Ok, now some predictions. The match ups look quite interesting all around. I like the Lakers to beat Denver. I really do not think Iverson and Carmello last after this season. I love AI but he seems to be destined on the Charles Barkley All-Stars: Great players to never win a ring. I cannot foresee any reason to keep AI around if they cannot do it this year, and I really don’t see that going on. Taking the Celtics over the Hawks is the easiest pick ever. That series should be over in 3 games, with the Hawks not even showing up to the Arena for Game 4. Now taking the Hornets over the Mavs could be a little more “daring.” The Mavs still have Dirk and Company, but I do not think it will matter. Jason Kidd will not serve to be the fix Mark Cuban needed/wanted. If only the Mavs had a very energetic version of Jason Kidd….Meanwhile, the Suns are lead by Steve Nash and they will have their hands full with the Spurs in the 3-6 match up. Shaq surely is a big body, but I feel the Suns are slowed by his slow body. The Spurs are looking real old, but Manu is playing exceptionally well. The Spurs will stumble in Phoenix, but most likely take it home to capture the series. To me, Utah will roll over Houston, much like the Pistons will do the same to the 76ers. Orlando will make quick work of the Raptors too, being that the Raptors are still another player away from competing with the likes of Dwight Howard. The Cavs look somewhat scared of the Wizards and Agent Zero. Gilbert Arenas is a self-proclaimed “Assassin”, and will probably give Lebron some fits for stretches of minutes during the series. Lebron is too good, and too motivated to make Deshawn Stevenson and the Wiz slow him down. In round 2, the Utah will face the Lakers and this series will be an up and down battle royal. Boozer, Okur, and Deron will be too much for Kobe, Kobe and Pau, as Kobe may have to average 40-something (which he still may) to have any chance of survival. The Hornets will face the much more seasoned Spurs and shock the Spurs in the first round. However, this is where the fun ends for CP3 and the Spurs walk away in 6. The Celtics will face Lebron and this will be fun to watch. The playoffs move much slower than the regular season, and this will allow Ben Wallace to do Ben Wallace type things: Roam the paint, make shots difficult to take; Rebound; Rebound, and Rebound some more. Paul Pierce or Ray Allen won’t be able to stop Bron Bron from dropping 45 a game and the Cavs will face the Pistons. The Pistons will be lead by a very motivated Rasheed Wallace, as he does not want the young Dwight Howard to upstage his performance. This will allow the Stones to see the Cavs in a rematch of last year’s Eastern Conference Finals. Being a big time home town lover, it is hard for me to pick the Cavs to beat my Pistons. I seriously cannot see one more game of letting Lebron score 25 unanswered points. This will be the series that makes or breaks the “We didn’t draft Carmello because we had Tayshaun Prince” arguments. I still would have liked to see Chris Bosh in a Pistons’ uni anyway. The Cavs will fight through 7 games, but Detroit will take home another Eastern Conference title, and face the Utah Jazz in the Finals. Utah has too many weapons to let Tim Duncan beat them. They have some big guys who can play, and David Robinson isn’t walking through that door anytime soon to help out Timmy D. Utah will rely on the 2-3-2 format to try and steal home court advantage from the Pistons, and may even do so in game 1. The Pistons will have their backs to the wall, the entire country writing them off, and one hell of a chip on their shoulder. Sheed and company will come out guns blazing in games 2 and 3 to steal back home court advantage. Game 4 will go to the Jazz as will game 5. Pistons, again being written off, peal off back to back wins at home and the Palace will be bedlam. The NBA Champs will be the Detroit Pistons.

They will be lead by Rasheed Wallace and Jason Maxiell. The bench will serve the team well after getting heavy minutes in many games throughout the year and Flip Saunders finally gets his ring. If this is the course of events that take place, look for a huge idol-like statue of Joe Dumars.

Mission: Impossible

The hardest decision I have to make is whether to eat Captain Crunch or Honey Nut Cheerios. I am not in a position where many people care what i decide to do. There are, however, people who make decisions that effect hundreds, thousands, even millions of people each and every day. Those people walk a very thin line. If they make the right decision, people will praise them, but If they make the wrong decision, most people will call for their head, and there will be the few who will still drink the Kool-aid and follow them to the pits of Hell and back. In the city of Detroit, most things are judged on a "what-have-you-done-for-me-lately?" outlook. You may recall this comedy bit from Eddie Murphy's Raw, done so back in the 1980's, but here in Detroit, it is no laughing matter.

Today, we have 2 major icons, who the entire city and most of the state watch their every move. The ridiculousness of these two individuals are so magnified, that both have become the butt of jokes by the likes of Jay Leno, David Letterman, and every half-wit comedian from New York to Honolulu. Those two people are Kwame Kilpatrick and Matt Millen, the Mayor of Detroit, and General Manager of the Lions respectively. These two individuals have faced more heat than slice of bologna sitting on your car in a hot summer afternoon; and both have done far more damage. Both began their epic legacy in 2001. Both walked into a semi-good situation. Both have gone on a long, twisting, illogical and inadvisable road; and now both jobs are being called for.

Let's take a quick look into what Matt Millen first walked into in 2001. When Wayne Fontes had a "sub-par" 5-11 season, the Lions chose to bring in Bobby Ross to right the ship. Ross had immediate success with a 9-7 season, but took a step back in 1998 to 5-11. The losing (and the abuse he had been taking for 10 years) had been enough for Barry Sanders to abruptly leave the team, just short of breaking Walter Payton's then all-time rushing record. That year, owner William Clay Ford was flirting with the idea of bringing in Matt Millen as a general manager, but Ross refused to give up any power to him, and threatened to quit if the talks did not stop. Ross won this battle, and endured one and a half more seasons, before stepping down. You may remember the press conference where Bobby Ross shouted out "I don't coach that way!" The end was near for sure. Gary Moeller, former head coach of the University of Michigan, took over for the remainder of the year and finished with a 4-3 record gained much respect of all the players for doing such an admirable job in such a situation. Moeller was fired as Matt Millen's first act as general manager for the Detroit Lions. For his next trick, he brought in good friend and former offensive coordinator of the San Fransisco 49ers Marty Mornhinweg. Marty was famous for setting the bar high. M&M, as they were called around time and also for the play on Detroit rapper Eminem (Marshal Mathers), ditched the team at training camp and road off on their motorcycles, trying to make a statement to the team. Marty lasted as long as he had to. The real prize Millen was after was the head coach of the Niners, Michigan native, Steve Mariucci. After raising eyebrows around the league for not following the Minority Hiring Regulations, "Mooch" was brought in and asked to put lipstick on a pig. Mariucci did not fare any better than Marty, and in Gary Moeller fashion, Dick Juron took over as acting coach, until Millen pulled the rug underneath him at season's end. Now we here in Detroit are stuck with a tough-nosed linemen coach, Rod Marinelli, until the next best thing arrives. If the cake consist of all the coaching changes, the draft picks and off season pick ups that have been as laughable as his 31-81 record as acting general manager, then the icing on that cake is the contract extension he signed before the 2005 season.

The only saving grace among these miserable facts is that it is about a sports team. For the people of Detroit and its surrounding cities, the real nausea begins with the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick. To list all his downfalls would not only waste a bunch of time and bore a bunch of people, but it would also not do any justice to what the city goes through on a daily basis. Some of the hip-hop Mayor's lowlights would make the likes of John Gotti blush. Some of the scandals and cover-up's/conspiracy theories are that right out of a movie script: A party at the Moonogian Mansion that allegedly had hookers and dancers being boated in across from Windsor, Canada, underneath Customs' nose; A dead hooker who was gunned down by gangsters better known as Detroit Police; A whistleblower case; Missing money from a city's Civic Fund; The use of city payroll for the likes of cousins, and college buddies that do nothing for the City of Detroit; Using city money to fly his body-guards with him to conferences across the United States, where no one knew who he was; and finally the lying under oath about a sexual relationship with his chief of staff, Christine Beatty. In a very Millen-esque fashion, the city of Detroit re-elected this animal for another term.
Breathtaking!

Matt Millen and Kwame Kilpatrick are, indeed, in a heap of crap. Both men need to make a 180 degree turn. Yet, for both men, the time on their Cinderella clocks may read 11:59pm.